Some music brings me to my knees, my yesterdays weeping in a kaleidoscope of images. As usual, this feeling never ceases to amaze me. I am in my present-ish moment (currently, with my son), and a song from Sun Kil Moon which I am hearing for the first time pulls my past into the living room. Though, I am not sure what part of my past. There's this vague sense of yesterday and the halo effect of college days and years in my early to mid-twenties.
Is it possible to miss tumultuous times? Strange, it seems, to feel nostalgia for a time in youth that was full of angst and intense longing for what was out of reach or for...I don't know what. My life was imaginary then. In so many ways, I was lost in dreams, reliving precious moments with friends or reading scripts for productions for which I would never audition.
My life now, in comparison, is a day without traffic, a morning waking with a child's delight on Christmas, and anything else that fits with those emotions. Yet, the nagging past, a friend I haven't heard from in years, arrives in my mailbox out of the blue.
Constantly changing moons, our thoughts and moods are. How do we enter into that space of silent grieving for a long ago "umph" with anything less than a thud?
It's time to return to my present "bliss," throwing plastic A,B,C's into a plastic box with Ash.
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