Non-Stick Pan/Plan

I've been avoiding discussing my upcoming move to Maryland. But, my husband gave notice at work today, so I guess it's truly official! Eric got a job in Rockville, so homeward bound I am, in a sense.

Moving turns me so many colors. It conjures the best and worst of my emotions and past experiences. Today, I am a bluish-green with an aura of rosy-orange.The bluish-green is a vacancy inside, while the rosy-orange is simply elation.

I've "officially" crossed that boundary mark of not quite believing you're moving, of living in some fantasy bubble as if your life in your current home is just going to continue, and whatever the opposite of that is. Ok, I'll try harder.

The opposite of that emotion/experience would be...no man's land. Mmm...not really opposite, I suppose. I am quite certain, regardless, that I am in no man's land. A purgatory. Being neither here nor there, I feel my friendships quietly detaching without much resistance. There's a non-stick pan beneath my life, and it all seems to be uprooting without much trouble (brother Roger's family aside).

I feel the new town awaiting as if it's a vacation destination. I am about to pack up my belongings, including old stuffed animals my mother sent me years ago, plates I've had since college, a sunshine and moon couch blanket I've also had since college, a beat-up old sage green couch that sticks to your fingers it's so gooey and yummy, those birthday and greeting cards no one can seem to throw away (the unspoken, nostalgic retirement plan we all have), etc, etc. And, I am doing all of this, for some cool giveaway or something, like I am a contestant in Saturday Night Live's vacation sweepstakes.

When I get up there, my yard will have a palm tree (surely those grow in Maryland), Eric's family and my mother will bring us pies and flowers every other week, and groceries will be delivered to the door. Or...not.

All in all, this is no man's land. No reality quite fits. Nothing is really real. I can let go of all of it since none of it makes sense.

Ultimately, my home is in any house where my husband and son reside.