I have some mommies from the playgroup coming over in an hour and "shouldn't" be wasting time writing to you. But, the word "should" is heavy on my mind.
Here are some of my classic should statements:
I should always be on time.
I should have an impeccably clean house when guests come over.
I should be able to lose more of the baby weight.
I shouldn't show my age.
I should be happy and energetic all day long.
I should always show the public, including family, how together and competent I am.
I should not say things that might get others upset.
You get the gist. This all came about as I was watching myself in Asher's mirrored closet door. I was rocking him to sleep, still in my pjs at 11:30 am. Hair unwashed. Glasses still on. Wearing my wife-beater t-shirt that no longer fits. And, I imagined myself a picture in a magazine. Thinking, somehow if this were a photo in The Sun or in Parenting Something or Other, the scene would look beautiful. I would even look sexy in my disheveled state. Or, at least some model wearing the same outfit would. :)
Our standards are set so high. We all "should" be the perfect picture of motherhood. Of wife-hood. Of self-hood. We should live up to some ideal of what we see in others. Everything looks so picturesque and idyllic in a magazine photo or in someone else's Facebook picture. Right?
The image always appears flawless. So, we think we should be too.
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