HAPPY

So, it's the end of another year, and everyone's writing about resolutions, right? Ba-humbug! Just kidding. Well, sort of.

Like many folks, I find myself reflecting on the year. However, this is not that unusual of a task for me. Reflecting on myself and my life is in my bones. I stir reflections of myself in my coffee each morning, and gaze upon reflections of me in my son's eyes while changing his diaper. Weird?

Shush up a minute, hear (unintended misspelling). Or, was it?

I've started two additional blogs this year, one of which has not seen the light of day. It's still buried in the recesses of my own mind, reflecting its loneliness back at me.

But seriously now, I end this year with relief, praise, aches, and tremendous love. My simple life this year has been made up of wiping snot, changing dirty socks, wiping endless tears, and when possible, kissing my honey and giving myself a ten-minute bubble bath. Not to mention, lots of "Twinkle, twinkle," which Asher calls "Up aba," and reading Goodnight Moon, which Ash calls Mouse, hundreds upon hundreds of times.

My love for my son makes my chest and tummy ache each day. I cannot think of him without scrunching up my face in a pout and saying "Aawwww..." He gives kisses freely; he says "oh well" when he drops something; he laughs at himself for falling down (most of the time), and he beams with pride when in his dad's arms. He's simply the most baffling, head-scratching, eyebrow-raising wonder of my life. I mean, so was Eric, but it's a little different when an actual person is living and breathing because of you.

So, I started really reading again this year thanks to Sun magazine, which kick-started me into reading books I actually enjoy, like The Help, as popular and mainstream as it is - two characteristics I tend to run from screaming.

I began sewing, for real yo. And have found a giddy, pin-popping artist inside of me.

Cooking has exploded for me this year. I can now improvise freely and make up an entire meal while walking through the produce section.

In short, I am....what's the word???? Ha...h....hap....happy, yes, HAPPY!!!!! Life just seems so much easier, despite the sourpuss I can be when I've been up all night nursing a small boy's fever. Despite the many blogs I've written about how difficult motherhood can be.

A friend of mine recently said she got up at six a.m. just because she was awake. In those early morning, blurry, sunless hours, she awoke to the miracle of HAPPY.

This coming year, I just want to expand and grow my own HAPPY. I want it to pull the covers off of me when getting up seems nightmarish or when a headache is imminent. I want it to stretch its arms around me when I dress, and smile on me when I'm judging myself in the mirror each day.

And, I want it for you (and yu and yu and yu and yu) this coming year.