Do Bobbleheads have a God?

I am sorry. I've neglected to respond to your email and can't remember if you sent it this month or last. I also haven't called in two or six months, and will probably ask you some of the same questions when we speak next. In what town are you living? Who is your current boyfriend/husband/child? (Realization that not all of those nouns fit with the adjective "current.")


Forgive me for writing in this blog instead of writing to you, dear friend. It's not that I want to lose touch, probably; it's likelier that half of my head is now bobbling (word?) on a stick, as if I am Jesus atop a nice Christian's dashboard. Christian context aside, that image is not far off from the truth. By the way, I think it's completely fine if you like those Jesus bobbleheads, or if you are an avid (?) Christian. But, hiding a camera inside one, as if you are a Mexican drug lord, is not very cool (Anyone watch Weeds?).

Paradoxically, I am still rather sharp. In fact, my husband sometimes tells me I am wittier now than I was before my son's birth. 'How can that be?,' I think to myself. On so many occasions, I leave a room only to wonder why I am now holding my purse and searching on the floor. What am I looking for again? My head is blank. I am suddenly unsure what day it is, or if I have been drugged. Is my child still in the room? Oh, phew. He is right there.

Dizzy, cloudy-feeling lifts, as my lens starts to focus. Oh, yeah. Ok. Spoon. That's what it was! Asher's spoon fell on the floor in here somewhere. (This is his love object, in case you are curious). My purpose in life hardens; the knots in my belly soften. The worry that I am going insane...well, this could be a jello consistency.

I treasure you, dear one (probably). And, I thank you for being willing to stay "close." Now, with all due respect, can you get out of here so I can sleep!? Why are you even awake? Shouldn't you be working, studying, cleaning the bathroom? Catching up on The Food Network Star? Praising God, or Jesus, or your bobblehead god for you blessings?

You should call a friend or write your mother.