My weeks often have themes, perhaps focusing around a quote, such as "No one can make you angry but you" - this week's theme. I am reading a book about changing the way you think in order to change your emotional experiences. And in discussing the anger idea with Eric, he said he had just said this to one of his students. Then, the theme appears on a TV sitcom about how a wife "has to be angry" to get her husband to do anything. Sound familiar?
So, this idea is heavy on my mind. I get angry every day about something. And it's usually about how uncivil or unappreciative the world is. A driver cuts me off in traffic, a lady bumps into me in the grocery store without apology, a new mother does not acknowledge my beaming face intentionally set on her and her child, etc, etc.
Anger or disappointment is what I feel each time, at least in some degree or another. How unjust everyone is, I think. It doesn't take anything to be nice, does it? Can't we just make the world go round with simple happiness, people?
Needless to say, my quest for dealing with emotions and figuring out appropriate levels of showing and containing emotions continues. Am I not supposed to be angry? Does this violate my spiritual growth or contract with God? If I feel anger and don't express it, where does it go? I've tried so many times to let it sit and linger until it seems to fade into some internal abyss. At least until my husband leaves his dishes for me to do or his clothes in a heap on our bedroom floor.
"Serenity now!!"
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