Itching under the skin today. The holidays bring a quiet to "my" earth, especially when Eric and I stay home. This Thanksgiving, we aren't even having guests either. Imagine? It seems surreal considering we have a little five-moth old who will be having his first Turkey day sans the turkey.
For some reason, the stillness I am anticipating - that I usually crave and long for - feels a bit foreign and uncomfortable, like a new pair of wool slacks. I remember when I used to go to one of my parent's homes for the holiday. Meeting Eric, along with other things, changed that tradition. Even earlier in my life, going to grandma's was always in store for the winter.
There's something about not having holidays with my family that makes me feel rather old and out of sorts. Granted, I love creating new traditions, but where does the time go? It's like I lived 100 years and am now in the second century of my life.
Funny. I just smiled as I imagined this new era of unknown feasts, celebrations, birthdays, friendships, gardens, and homes. I have more right now than anyone anywhere could possibly hope for. I never would have imagined my life would be this huge and expansive. That my husband would be so amazingly sensitive and such a good listener and mentor. That I'd even have a child, not to mention he'd be so beautiful and so full of life. That I'd eventually realize that home is actually where the heart is. That wherever those two men in my life are is where I will always feel the safest and the most loved.
Happy Thanksgiving!
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